Where Is Your Lack Of Confidence Coming From?

There’s something that may have happened to you growing up that caused you to lose your confidence.  You may have tripped in front of a whole bunch of people and everyone laughed and pointed.  You may have asked a girl out and she turned you down hard.  You may have asked for a promotion or raise at your job and got turned down because your boss said “you weren’t ready”.  Whatever happened to you that made you lose your confidence needs to be addressed so you can get it back.

As children, when it comes to trying new things, we are fearless.  Trying to learn how to walk, we kept trying until we got it.  Trying to learn how to talk, we kept trying until we got it.  What would have happened if we gave up after our first attempts on trying to walk?  You would see everyone crawling to get around.  You are very limited when you crawl.  Our parents encouraged us to keep trying until we got it.  What if our parents laughed each time  we kept falling?  Would we keep trying?  If you want to get that confidence again, you can.  The thing is the encouragement has to come from you.  If you fail, you have to pull yourself together and keep trying.




If this fear or lack of confidence is preventing you from reaching your goals, you need to focus on overcoming it.  When you learn how to do something, your fears start to decrease.  So if you have a fear of talking to attractive women, maybe you need to read some books, watch some videos, etc. on how to approach women.  Once you learn how to do the skill, you have to practice.  Don’t worry  about failing.  Failure is part of the process.  Don’t expect fireworks, you’re only doing this to increase your skills.  Like a boxer who gets in the ring and spars.  When the big fight comes around, the boxer is ready.  If they lose the big fight, it hurts, but they keep training until they start getting some wins under their belt.

Your confidence should come from within.  Success is not a guarantee, but your chances of becoming successful increases when you start taking more chances and stop being afraid to fail.  Unless your life is on the line or the life of someone else, stop treating it like it’s the end of the world.  If you fail, you keep trying, but try using a different approach.  Learn as much as you can and focus on “getting it” instead of being successful.  If you’re successful without knowing how you did something, you may have a hard time replicating it.  When you fail, try to go for understanding.  When you understand something, even if it’s piece-by-piece, pretty soon you’ll be able to replicate your success consistently.

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